Another Word on S.O.s

I was really trying to have a good attitude on not finding soulmate friend S.O.s.

Maybe this is a demonstration of my own social phobias, or a demonstration of what the world is turning out to be like, but I realized something after my last post: virtual soulmate friend S.O.s are just as great as real live ones.

Not that the S.O.s connected through the Internet aren't real and alive. But you know what I mean.

And so, in the spirit of Thanksgiving: I am so thankful I live in a time where I can communicate, commiserate, lift, and be lifted by people who are just like me, but who I won't ever get to meet; where friends can be made simply by sharing true feelings.

I've been trying for months to make friends here - putting myself out there, trying to be charming and likeable. But while reading the comments on my last post, I felt real friendship for the first time since moving here. And it was so easy! And so honest! And also a bit confusing. After all, it sort of defies every definition of 'friend' I've ever known.

Some of the medwife blogs I read and I feel like I know the author already. I get excited by new posts. It's like getting a telephone call from a friend who will tell you what she is really feeling, what is happening in her life, her ups and downs, her fears, her goals and ambitions -

Some bloggers feel like best friends. Others are like that one girl in the group who is a little awkward, but you listen to her anyway. Some feel like the cool girl, the one that probably wouldn't have talked to you in high school, but if she did you would have hung onto every word she said. Some feel like my mom, some feel like my sister. A few are the ones that I probably wouldn't get along with in real life, but I would pretend to for the sake of good manners and proper social protocol.

One big group of friends, connected by common interests, problems, feelings, and of course, the Internet.

This whole new blog-world is a little confusing, a little weird, and sometimes can be a little scary. It adds a whole new dimension to friendship, though, and I think it's definitely worth exploring.

More Advice

Dr. N was in a pre-med med-prep class at college. One day there was a class for the spouses. The wife of a prominent doctor in town - who also happened to be the president of our college - gave the lecture.

Her Dr. N (Who was actually Dr.C) was INTENSE. So much so, that on their wedding day he spent the morning getting married, the afternoon in an organic chemistry class, and the evening at their wedding reception. This woman had more patience than I knew existed.

Anyway, one of the pieces of advice she gave has stuck with me (I've forgotten all the rest).

She said, "Do everything you can on your own."

I didn't really understand at first, but she went on.

"Buy a ladder. Use rubber bands to open jars. Take out the trash. Do all you can around the house that you can, so that when something you can't do comes along, he can do it for you."

Our toilet broke the other day. First instinct: Dr. N will be able to fix this for sure.


Second instinct: Remember what Mrs. Dr. C said? Can I do this??


Turns out I could! All it took was a screw-driver and serious control for my gag reflexes. Since then I have changed 7 light bulbs, fixed the shower handle, and taken the trash out....twice.

I've also killed numerous spiders. Only while Dr.N is away though. That's still one of the things that is specifically HIS job when he's here. Maybe someday I'll be man enough....we'll see.