Monday, November 22, 2010

Another Word on S.O.s

I was really trying to have a good attitude on not finding soulmate friend S.O.s.

Maybe this is a demonstration of my own social phobias, or a demonstration of what the world is turning out to be like, but I realized something after my last post: virtual soulmate friend S.O.s are just as great as real live ones.

Not that the S.O.s connected through the Internet aren't real and alive. But you know what I mean.

And so, in the spirit of Thanksgiving: I am so thankful I live in a time where I can communicate, commiserate, lift, and be lifted by people who are just like me, but who I won't ever get to meet; where friends can be made simply by sharing true feelings.

I've been trying for months to make friends here - putting myself out there, trying to be charming and likeable. But while reading the comments on my last post, I felt real friendship for the first time since moving here. And it was so easy! And so honest! And also a bit confusing. After all, it sort of defies every definition of 'friend' I've ever known.

Some of the medwife blogs I read and I feel like I know the author already. I get excited by new posts. It's like getting a telephone call from a friend who will tell you what she is really feeling, what is happening in her life, her ups and downs, her fears, her goals and ambitions -

Some bloggers feel like best friends. Others are like that one girl in the group who is a little awkward, but you listen to her anyway. Some feel like the cool girl, the one that probably wouldn't have talked to you in high school, but if she did you would have hung onto every word she said. Some feel like my mom, some feel like my sister. A few are the ones that I probably wouldn't get along with in real life, but I would pretend to for the sake of good manners and proper social protocol.

One big group of friends, connected by common interests, problems, feelings, and of course, the Internet.

This whole new blog-world is a little confusing, a little weird, and sometimes can be a little scary. It adds a whole new dimension to friendship, though, and I think it's definitely worth exploring.


Drew said...

The friends I've made through blogging are an amazing group. Since I recently discovered other medical wives out there I'm twice as grateful for blogging friends. There is something to be said for knowing people who are in the same circumstances as you, whether on a blog or IRL. :-)

Lauren said...

"Some bloggers are like best friends. Others are like that one girl in the group who is a little awkward... etc. etc."

I completely and totally understand what you are saying in these few sentences. I can, at this moment, pick out those who I think I would truly like in person, those who would be the "cool" girl, that one who might be a little awkward, so on and so forth.

The fact that I am not alone in feeling like this in the blog-o-sphere is altogether comforting and alarming, because suddenly it leaves me thinking, "Wait. Which one am I? Am I the awkward one? The one people wouldn't actually like but pretend to just to be nice?" And for a brief moment I feel like I'm in middle school all over again.

At the end of the day though? I am quite pleased with what I have found through being a medical student wife blogger (because there seems to be a realm of us, right?). I don't have ANY. ANY. medical student spouse friends in real life. Not because I'm socially awkward (hopefully), but because my husband's medical school is in Washington D.C., and we live in... well, Texas. Can't meet spouses when you live in a different state. So like you, I'm thankful to live in this time as well- when I can at the very least feel a sense of belonging and support from a group of women who are at the same time just like me (for living the medwife lifestyle), and nothing like me (for a million other reasons).

LOVED this post. And so sorry for my mini-post in the comments. This may be that very thing that makes me that one "awkward" medwife blogger. Eek.

APV said...

Beautifully said. I totally agree. Especially since most of medwives will have to move around a lot, so our friends "in the flesh" will come and go - but our blog friends will most likely stay the same! (even though we may never meet in person!)