During all of our med school interviews and tours we kept hearing about the SO (significant others) clubs. I was so excited for the many activities they talked about: decorating the studs' cars during class, eating lunch with them, lunches together with other SOs, etc. Mostly though I was excited about the camaraderie that was ensured with such a club. Surely women going through such a trying time together couldn't help but form a strong bond amongst each other. I was sure that I could handle the Stud being gone for so many hours, as long as I had these intimate friends to go through the process with.
Well. With so many tours and interviews, I failed to notice that one school didn't mention any such club. A few months later, we were attending that same school. When I realized there was no organized SO club I was highly disappointed, but determined to still make my bosom friends.
I put the Stud to work, finding other studs with SOs. I got phone numbers and e-mails. I looked through the Stud's class Facebook page for students with SOs. (creepy, I know) I hosted an ice cream social at my home, and a lot of SOs came! It was there that I learned every single med couple had kids.
Again, at first I was disappointed. In my experience, couples with babies don't normally associate with couples without babies. (Or maybe couples without babies don't normally associate with couples with babies. Either way, it happens.) But, I was still determined. I invited some of the SOs and their kids over for lunch. Twice. All of my hosting allowed the other moms to meet each other, talk about babies, and plan play dates.
And that was the end of it. For me, at least. Now, whenever there is a big event and everyone gets together, the wife-moms always spend the whole time talking about recent mom-kid get-togethers. I spent some time being jealous, some time being sad, and now I am spending some time being happy for the wife-moms - it really is wonderful that they have found their medwife bosom friends. I guess it's just not for me.
Is anyone else out there the only medwife non-mom? Do you feel included? How do you handle this situation?