Tuesday, August 31, 2010

One down... 47 to go...

Month update. Doesn't 47 sound so much nicer than 199? I'm officially going to speak in months from now on, never weeks.

SO, the med stud's (my new name for Dr.N, since the former name was a bit controversial, and I like med stud better anyway. It's short for med student, and by shortening it, it turns into what he is....major stud. I know, I'm clever,) been at it for 1 month. The schedule has changed a bit from the first week. He leaves a little earlier and gets home a little later. He's also afraid of getting fat (after all, the ONLY thing he does is sit- sit and read, sit and study, sit in lecture, sit to eat, oh, and sleep) so he's started riding his bike to school (8 miles), which takes more time away now but prevents the risk of heart attack and stroke, so I'll let it slide...

He's had several small quizzes and one big quiz, and his first exams are coming up next week. He is still getting plenty of sleep (well, about 6.5 hours or so each night) and doesn't seem like the sullen-and-fried med student type yet. Fried, maybe a little, but sullen, nope.

And me? Keeping busy is harder to do now, since we are all moved in and settled, and my new position in this strange new land doesn't start for another 2 months.  I tell you what, 3 months of vacation may have been AWESOME  in the 4th grade, but not anymore!

Some days are harder than others. Lately I've gotten to feeling a little bit like I'm quarantined. More on dealing with that later. (once I find out how to....)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

One down....199 to go

Update: A life in the day - week one.

The first week is over. It went pretty well, much like I expected.

Dr. N leaves for school a little before 7 every day. Of course, I wake up and make him a SPLENDID breakfast (ie, I put the cereal and milk on the table) and make him a lunch and send him on his way.

He comes home a little after 5 pm, smelling something fierce of dead-body juices. Ugh. We have dinner, during which the conversation mostly consists of the body he cut open that day or the nerves he's learning about, or the drama that took place in class today when someone unexpectedly moved seats.

Then he studies until about 10 or 11 pm, taking small breaks to play ping-pong with me or have a snack.

He's doing well and seems to be enjoying school. He HAS started mumbling in his sleep. In the middle of the night I'll hear, "Jusgt a moofin falatchkey nonifactatoe meloon" and say, "What, Dr. N?" and he'll repeat it, louder. It's pretty funny.

Staying busy during the day helps me not miss him too much, but I've found the important thing is to save stuff to do for night. Stuff that is more fun to do alone. Like painting my nails while watching a movie, or making cookies, or practicing the piano. That way I'm not tempted to go up to his study and watch him. Slash, talk to him.

It also helps a lot to think of it like a job. I mean, other people have jobs where they work 14 hours a day, 6 days a week. Don't plenty of people work around 80 hours a week?  He just has one of THOSE jobs, and would be away this much even if he WASN'T at medical school. That helps me not be resentful towards med and the med  profession.

I met some of the med wives at a dinner last week. They all had kids, so there is that invisible barrier there between acquaintances and friends. Most of the wives have kids, it seems. I guess it just means I'll have to be more pro-active in getting them to be friends with me, instead of tagging along for the ride.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

More Advice

Dr. N was in a pre-med med-prep class at college. One day there was a class for the spouses. The wife of a prominent doctor in town - who also happened to be the president of our college - gave the lecture.

Her Dr. N (Who was actually Dr.C) was INTENSE. So much so, that on their wedding day he spent the morning getting married, the afternoon in an organic chemistry class, and the evening at their wedding reception. This woman had more patience than I knew existed.

Anyway, one of the pieces of advice she gave has stuck with me (I've forgotten all the rest).

She said, "Do everything you can on your own."

I didn't really understand at first, but she went on.

"Buy a ladder. Use rubber bands to open jars. Take out the trash. Do all you can around the house that you can, so that when something you can't do comes along, he can do it for you."

Our toilet broke the other day. First instinct: Dr. N will be able to fix this for sure.

Second instinct: Remember what Mrs. Dr. C said? Can I do this??

Turns out I could! All it took was a screw-driver and serious control for my gag reflexes. Since then I have changed 7 light bulbs, fixed the shower handle, and taken the trash out....twice.

I've also killed numerous spiders. Only while Dr.N is away though. That's still one of the things that is specifically HIS job when he's here. Maybe someday I'll be man enough....we'll see.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Emotional Deposits

Medical School = The Land of Many Loans

Not just financial loans either.

A few months ago when the words 'subsidized' and 'variable interest rates' were becoming all to common in our household I started to think about other things we are probably going to be short on.

Time together.




Money loans are scary, but at least they are somewhere to turn when you don't have enough of something, right?

SO: We decided to make a little (actually a BIG) deposit in the marriage bank. We quit our jobs early and have spent the last 6 weeks travelling around, visiting our families, relaxing, and enjoying each other. We have literally spent every second together.

It has been wonderful, and we have been able to build up a pretty fantastic reserve. We'll be running short by next summer, I'm sure, but no worries, by then we'll be able to make some more deposits.

Monday, August 2, 2010

First Day

Lab coat: $25.00
Lap top computer: $1,400.00
New scrubs: $20.00
Tuition: $168,000.00 (and counting)
Learning how to save lives every single day: priceless

I've had 17 first-day-of-schools (I counted this morning during breakfast). Each one of them I've picked out an outfit the night before, woken up that morning super excited, waved goodbye to parents/siblings/roommates/husband and headed off. 

This first-day-of-school was different. For the first time, I stayed home, the one being waved to. 

It is a weird feeling, one that I suspect mothers feel when sending their children to school for the first time. Kind of like my heart is being squeezed, I have a lump in my throat, and I'm filled with all sorts of worries. 

What if he gets lost looking for his classroom?
What if he can't keep up in school?
What if he doesn't LIKE this school?
What if he spills his lunch on his shirt and the other kids make fun of him?
(This is a legitimate concern - it happened to my brother in the 6th grade. It's a good thing we moved 8 months later because he was still being teased.) 
What if he doesn't make friends?
What do I do now?

I didn't think I was going to cry, but as I stood in the driveway waving goodbye even after I couldn't see the car anymore, I choked up. 

I don't really know what to expect from the next 4 years, but I do have a feeling that life will never be the same.