There are a lot of emotions mixed up with a husband starting medical school. Excitement, relief, anticipation, pride... I think the one emotion that trumps all the others, though, for me, is fear.
What am I afraid of?
I'm afraid of lonely nights.
I'm afraid of missed vacations.
I'm afraid of eating dinner alone. Every night.
I'm afraid of him stressing out and shutting down.
I'm afraid of not fitting in with the other wives.
I'm afraid of other, silly things too.
Like Dr. N seeing hot ladies without clothes on during a physical. And his OB/GYN rotations. And I'm afraid of really sexy nurses that think my Dr. N is also really sexy (which he IS). And I'm afraid of Dr. N thinking I'm a sissy when I think I'm dying from a canker sore. (Right now he still thinks I'm a princess who should never have to suffer a paper cut.)
I'm afraid of lots of things.
But mostly I'm afraid of what they call, "The Physician Marriage". Where two people share a home but not a life. Where spouses go days without seeing each other, or interacting with each other. Where the homes are big, but patience is thin, and laughter is rare.
I'm mostly afraid of that.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Introduction to A New Life
Do blogs need an intro? I think so. A blog might as well be a book, each new post a new chapter. Although, sometimes if the introduction to a REAL book is too long I seriously consider skipping it. Prologues are different, right? Oh well, sometimes I skip them too.
Anyway, back to the introduction. I will call it 'Pre-Med Life'.
First of all, it should be known that 'pre-med' does NOT mean 'before med'. It means before med SCHOOL. Our pre-med life was very much full of 'med'.
Dr. N and I were married on December 26, 2008. On Jan 3, 2009 he started studying for the MCAT. Yes, we had an entire week where our marriage was med-free. Then, the lonely nights started. MCAT study was T/Th from 6 - 10 pm and Sat. from 8 am - 12 pm. Not to mention going to school for his undergrad. The MCAT was taken May 1, 2009. Stress free! Med-free! For one more week. Then it was on to the application process.
Oh, horrid application process.Shivers down my spine.
Resume, personal statements, letters of recommendations, essays, AMCAS, AACOMAS, TMDSAS, primaries, secondaries, writing, revising, the list goes on and on.
Probably the most work I'll have to do in the whole medical process, that's for sure!
Before that was finished the interview process started. August 31, 2009 was the first. And the favorite. And the most please-please-PLEASE-pick-me-ist. After that, more interviews, more applications. And more waiting. Painful, pressure-filled, unknown waiting. Until one day, it suddenly stopped.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009. Upstate NY. On the way to the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping with my family. Sitting in the middle seat of the middle seat of the family SUV. An unrecognized phone number. "Answer it, Dr.N! It might be them!"
"Hello?"
"Hello. It is us. We would like to offer you immediate acceptance to our school. Are you still interested in attending?"
First shock. Then JOY! A Christmas miracle! (We hadn't been expecting to hear back until May.) Walking on clouds, on sunshine, on air! (Until Dr. N locks the keys in the car as the mall closes at 11:00 pm. Slight damper on the day. But only slight.)
10 more days of stress free! med-free! life. Then back to school, to finish up the pre-med classes. Last semester at current college!
Jan-April. School. Studying. Work. Giving them (med school) all of our money.
April 23. Sunny, happy, springy day. GRADUATION!
One week later. Loan applications start. "Please, may we have $75,000 to carry us over for the next 9 months? At least $300,000 over the next 4 years? Oh, yes, and we won't have a steady income for at least 8 years. Thank you!"
Next step: Moving day. June 16, 2010.
Anyway, back to the introduction. I will call it 'Pre-Med Life'.
First of all, it should be known that 'pre-med' does NOT mean 'before med'. It means before med SCHOOL. Our pre-med life was very much full of 'med'.
Dr. N and I were married on December 26, 2008. On Jan 3, 2009 he started studying for the MCAT. Yes, we had an entire week where our marriage was med-free. Then, the lonely nights started. MCAT study was T/Th from 6 - 10 pm and Sat. from 8 am - 12 pm. Not to mention going to school for his undergrad. The MCAT was taken May 1, 2009. Stress free! Med-free! For one more week. Then it was on to the application process.
Oh, horrid application process.Shivers down my spine.
Resume, personal statements, letters of recommendations, essays, AMCAS, AACOMAS, TMDSAS, primaries, secondaries, writing, revising, the list goes on and on.
Probably the most work I'll have to do in the whole medical process, that's for sure!
Before that was finished the interview process started. August 31, 2009 was the first. And the favorite. And the most please-please-PLEASE-pick-me-ist. After that, more interviews, more applications. And more waiting. Painful, pressure-filled, unknown waiting. Until one day, it suddenly stopped.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009. Upstate NY. On the way to the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping with my family. Sitting in the middle seat of the middle seat of the family SUV. An unrecognized phone number. "Answer it, Dr.N! It might be them!"
"Hello?"
"Hello. It is us. We would like to offer you immediate acceptance to our school. Are you still interested in attending?"
First shock. Then JOY! A Christmas miracle! (We hadn't been expecting to hear back until May.) Walking on clouds, on sunshine, on air! (Until Dr. N locks the keys in the car as the mall closes at 11:00 pm. Slight damper on the day. But only slight.)
10 more days of stress free! med-free! life. Then back to school, to finish up the pre-med classes. Last semester at current college!
Jan-April. School. Studying. Work. Giving them (med school) all of our money.
April 23. Sunny, happy, springy day. GRADUATION!
One week later. Loan applications start. "Please, may we have $75,000 to carry us over for the next 9 months? At least $300,000 over the next 4 years? Oh, yes, and we won't have a steady income for at least 8 years. Thank you!"
Next step: Moving day. June 16, 2010.
- Step 1: Pack up life
- Step 2: Put in truck
- Step 3: Drive to a new home where you don't know anyone
- Step 4: Attempt to un-pack, but mostly focus on making new friends
Then, buying books, computer, lab clothes, lab fees, etc. etc.
AUGUST 2, 2010
First day of med school. Pre-med life ends. Med life begins.
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